A mixture between doing some work, not much ( just my vat return ) having visitors and having the first cold since I cant remember, words seem to have passed me by, some are in my sketchbook which I will add later but generally it has been a quite time of looking around, going to exhibitions, looking at other peoples work and not putting much down.
It might be a good thing. I had started on a successful path of new sculpture which I was pleased with but it was much the same road as before. Better possibly all the time, but not different. The break, the cold, the rain, the visitors might have made a break in that. They have certainly stopped me working. But maybe it was not the path I wanted to be on.
Today, now friday, my cold still has a firm hold of my nose with disgusting concequences, it attached itself inside my head, in my ear and down my neck and its starting to creep down my throat and I resist it by developing a rather attractive hacking cough in response. All in all a delightful picture am I.
I went for a jog on the beach in the rain on sunday morning to bash it away and then sat in the park drinking wine with the permanent festival on wednesday (may day) to drink it away but it is a tough one and finally thursday made peace with it and looked after myself and chilled. But through the fog and mist of a cold in the sunshine ( which feels odd ) I have slowed down another notch and have found a beautiful if rather foggy pace with life.
Its not a pace I am comfortable in and is probably not sustainable finically but the days starts with a walk in the park with molly and some sketching. As the shadows became shorter and the sprinklers sprinkled me off we moved off to a convent courtyard and had a coffee and drew some arches and the people in their shadows. Back to the apartment and lunch was white beans cooked and when still warm dressed with oil, chili, garlic, basil and a little lemon, which when added to avocado, tomato and rocket made for a rather surprisingly yummy salad.
Its all cheap, life here is cheap.
I cant decide wether this is an easy living, loving life or a lazy life.
Don’t you work hard to do this in your retirement. so why not do it, if you can do it now? I only question it because I am from the north and I think…
Its not very go get.
But what’s there to get and where’s there to go?
A bigger house, a stupid car, a bigger mortgage? More steak. More stuff.
What’s wrong with a simple life of beans and friends and time.
Do our southern European friends have none of the money but all of the answers?
When we go on holiday is it just their life we crave. Or the life we perceive them to have.
We are too go get, to moneycentric to relax.
If you don’t go get, your a looser.
If I don’t go get, I feel like a looser. Like I am out of the game, like a horse that cant finish the race and has to be pulled back, to come in easy at the end and be put out to pasture. Maybe the horse likes it out in the field?
It has taken a persistent cold for me let a different pace in and see the very pleasure in it.
No doubt however, I will as my cold wears off develop my hard workers angst and my pooteling about making a nice lunch for myself and a nice day for myself, and a wonderful kind of life for myself will subside and I will need to go get again.
I will crave the anxiety and the adrenalin and the pace and the spin.
And one day I will figure it out what it is we are all rushing about getting.