Why do I draw the figure?
It’s not about the particular
It’s about the energy of being alive.
Day 3 Lido
Has the lido brought a sense of colour back, or is it sitting back, taking time. When I left the first day I felt like I had done a yoga class, my limbs were loose and I walked tall …..but I had just sat and drawn.
Water has always been an attraction. Mummy said I used to just run towards the deep water and jump in, it would frighten her as it was before I could swim. I had no fear.
Today the lido residency seems to make sense. Swimming under the water without goggles the flickers of green become blurred, I recognize the color and it is all around me. Yes its beautiful, its sunny I guess you would find a way to make it make sense. But I also look forward to when the water is dark, out of the sunlight. I look forward to my year of work, but working in a different way with a different attitude. Open to life, letting life in instead of the depressive task master of the past few years.
No drawing today as have to get an exhibition ready. 20 lengths in the green blue shimmers of a pool drenched in sun and a bit of writing…..
I have had three days of bliss, the sun has shined and it has affected my work and attitude.
Friday I drew and sorted drawings all day, throwing 212 away, great decisions. Did PFD1.1 and started PFD2.1
Cycled to meet Graham at the grain barge, 2 of No.7 in the sunshine overlooking the river. Talked excitedly about my new thinking about colour and pastels. I want to be a painter but pastels are more like drawing with colour and I am predominantly a drawer first, it seems to make sense.
We carried our bikes up the steps to the Lion, one more and home for pasta in the garden with the birds. Swallows high over the buildings making the most of the evening.
The weekend – untutored life drawing class. Part of me and the others there were thinking, bad luck to be working inside on a stunningly sunny weekend but it was the best. Saturday I worked hard which is hugely satisfying and makes me happy. I think some progress could have been made. Went for a walk in Saltford on the way to bath for a priv view at Beaux Arts.
Sunday morning, boiled eggs in the sunshine and a magical cycle through a quite Sunday morning city. Down park street, through Queens Square, past St.Mary Redcliff, under the big dark bridge of temple meads then out into the light along the river and to another day of intense drawing.
Deb is the model. Her form is familiar; my new found colours are out again. I start with blues and greens and realize people need more warmth so ocher comes out again as a background, blues and greens on top for shadow and representation of blood just under the surface. Saturday was a day of realizing why I did people,( PLR8 to 19) Sunday was enjoying it. ( PLR20 – 24 )
Then bike back along the river with debs, chatting, past the arnolfini, over the little bridge and bye to debs. Then over the iron bridge to ashton court, puff puff up the hill to meet my darling Graham and Molly. A walk with Molly, put on the lead to avoid the skylarks nests. They complain high above and make the weekend complete. A magical city!
Home to lasagne, cool white wine in the garden and then a program about Dali, I had forgotten that he could paint.
Anyway time to get on, time to get my work ready for an exhibition. They will not have everything they want but hopefully they will have enough.
Today has been a lesson in ‘ the more you look the more you see’ Just trying to make a ‘simple shape of the pool, or a satisfactory ‘picture’ of some sorts. Started off very enjoyable, difficult though compared to the figure. I have no referance, architecture, spacial relationships can seem abstract, difficult to pin down.
Just working out the shape of the windows and getting pretty frustrated and then, wanting to finish, I suddenly notice more, reflection after reflection. I vaguely pin one thing down and another appears, to tempt but also to confuse but infact the complication of it reveals the structure.
What am I doing here?
I am a sculptor not a painter.
It is paintings that I admire, lust after, stand in awe over but what am I doing here.
This is a painters job.